Wednesday, January 31, 2007

What you Smell is YOU

So little time and soooo much insanity to address.
Whoa Sparky; The Gaels are getting just what they deserve. Any team with a midget in shorts as a mascot should lose every game. Jeff Ruland is the highest paid coach in the MAAC and has lost 21 straight games. His excuse is we graduated 5,000 career points last spring. First, I wanna see their diplomas. Next, he still recruited the 13 kids on scholarship still in the program. If he's paying them to play they should be pretty good, right? You can't lose 21 straight games in this league and keep your job, can you?

Anna; get off of Babbo, or Comet or whatever cleanser they name the horse after. Yeah its too bad they shipped him off the the big stud farm in the sky, but he's a horse, dear you'll find a new friend to lose your money on next summer.
Bracket Buster -- Does Boise State have a blue court too? Will Brown and UAlbany must be real happy about flying, driving and taking a Conestoga about 2,000 miles to play on ESPNU at Smurf U. they could stay home, play St Peter's or St. Bernard on TW 3 and get a bigger audience. This Bracket Buster sucks!

Are we doing movie reviews now? Okay, Mongo Stu's favorite, I admit. That movie should be mandatory viewing in all freshman anthropology or sociology, pharmacology; aw fuckit make all the cology classes watch it.


Well, bust my brackets

Hey, Stu, help me out here.
I know I'm a little slow, but I'm not getting this whole BracketBusters thing. Where's the love when the Spayed Danes get sent to Boise and the Halos draw a dogshit team from a dogshit conference? Can you decline to participate if you get a raw deal? If this is the way the Danes and Fran's Failures are going to be treated, why bother? JUST SAY NO.
Good thing that don't have this crap in college hockey. The Engineers would be getting sent to Alabama-Huntsville and Union would be heading to MapQuest to find out how the hell to get to Mankato.
I see Anna's got her dander up about Barbaro finally getting Jimi Hedrixed. I wonder if they were playing Purple Haze when they stuck him with the big needle? Imagine wasting all that time and money on something that you knew was going to croak anyway. Oh wait, your wife has been doing that for years.
Flipping through the channels at 2 this morning (yes, the cave has cable) and stumbled on Blazing Saddles. Is there a more politically incorrect movie ever made? Love the scene where they're going to build a replica of the town, and the railroad workers show up. "We'll take the niggers and the chinks, but no Irish." Can you imagine trying to sneak that into a movie today? My, my, how the world has changed. Did Alex Karras win an Oscar for his performance as Mongo?
Got to go. The dust bunnies are starting to mate. Where's the hose?

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Can you smell it?

Yo, sluggo.
What's that I smell? I smell an upset of epic proportions. I smell Iona coming into the TUC Thursday night and knocking off Siena. What the hell's the matter with the Gaels? 0-21? The worst team in America? This has got to be killing Jeff Ruland (good thing he's an Iona grad, or he'd already have the door banging off his wide ass). If he has to cut off a limb, he'll have the Gaels fired up Thursday. The Halos are coming off two tough road losses and I'm still not sure if Fran the Man is a master motivator (that almost sounds kinky). If Siena's ready, they can win by twedy (lay off the rhymes). If Gales are loose, Siena is a cooked goose.
Speaking of underachievers (yeah, I'm talking about you, putz), what is Teddy Hockey doing at Harvard? The bloody Crimson can't be that bad. No way they should be sitting in the cellar on the eve of the Beanpot. Steam has got to be coming out of Bill Cleary's ears.
Anticipation keeps building as I wait to hear who Don Audinocorleone brings in to play quarterback next year. Rumors are that the staff is chasing Billy Ray Buchanan, a 6-foot-2, 206-pounder out of El Paso who is supposed to be the fastest white boy in Texas. The only problem is that Billy Ray's blood alcohol level is usually higher than his GPA. But hey, CAN HE THROW THE DEEP BALL?
Nasty rumor going around that the Bears have a bounty out on Peyton Manning. Hey, just win, baby. Wonder if Tonya Harding's crew is busy.
Can't believe you threw Gary Gabriel into this pile of dung. That should be good for his career.
Got to run. One of my other personalities is calling me.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Yo, Linotype Breath

Hey Sparky;
Name the only high-ranking college administrator that has worked at two universities that won Division I men's championships in 1985.
Time's up. Dr. Gary Gabriel RPI (they won the national title in hockey) and Villanova (men's basketball).

Hey, I finally determined that indeed golf and bowling are not sports. I know, professional golfers really are quality athletes and Tiger Woods is an elite athlete and all that, but here is why they are not really sports: No legitimate sport would allow dufusses (or is it dufi) like you and me to play at the same facility as the great ones play at in those sports. I mean, you and I could play Pebble Beach or almost any PGA facility. We could also keggle and slurp down some beers at any bowling establishment in the country. No way does anyone allow us to play baseball at Yankee Stadium, football at Texas Stadium or hockey at the Boston Garden. Now, for enough beer we might be able to log a couple of laps at Daytona, but I don't think so. Anyway, golf and bowling can't be sports, otherwise they would never let us anywhere near any place that host those events. Ask Anna, she will agree.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

End the madness

We have been too silent too long. Please considert and make a stand. This has got to end. We need leaders who wil do what is right.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Brokeback TV

I was home a little early tonight and got to see some of the evening newscasts. It reminded me of why I spend so little time watching local TV news. After about 7 minutes of commercials, 5-6 minutes of happy talk, teasers and recaps and another 3 minutes of the weather guy playing with all his high-tech toys, you get about 11 minutes of news.

Then tonight on TV 6 Sports Director Doug Sherman does a story about some kid playing for Mike Dean at Wagner. His justification for doing his second story in about 10 days on a really bad Division I program 150 miles from Albany was that Coach Deane once coached at Siena (about 15 years ago) and the kid he featured, who is not from the area, has some of his extended family living here. Wow, how lame. How about actually doing some story on local kids playing at college programs outside the area, or better yet local kids at LOCAL colleges and high schools.

The other laugher on that newscast came at 5:40 when they went to Fred Dicker for some political analysis. You know him, the commentator guy that pisses and moans about all the corruption in Albany and takes money for speaking to groups that spend lots of money to Lobby in Albany. Did TV 6 or WROW do any stories on that? I don't know, but would like to hear from anyone who saw that mentioned on the air.

Anyway, Fred shows up on camera in a cowboyesque string tie, a shirt with what looked like suede patches on the shoulders and a darker colored suede vest over the top of it all. It looked like something outa Buffalo Bob meets The Producers. If I had not seen it, I would never have believed it. Here is a hard-working political reporter who has clearly let the national and statewide attention go to his shiny little head. Come on Freddy, you aren't Truman Capote.

Rock 'em Sock 'em

I like the idea of the battling midgets. The ECAC needs something to spice it up and that might do it.
Let's get some women coaches in the league too; the men's league. That would make things a little more interesting too.

Let's get ready to rumble

Hey, putz
Just got done reading the account of last night's BU-BC hockey game and it looks like Eric Gryba of BU and Nathan Gerbe of BC spent the night beating the hell out of each other (did you know Gryba was voted "Best Fighting Prospect" in his junior league?) That's what the ECACHL is lacking...guys who actually hate each other.
The league needs a little WWE atmosphere to spice things up. Shawn Weller and Jake Schwan should be going at it in a kind of a backyard Hatfield and McCoy feud; I want to see 5-foot-6 Topher Scott of Cornell and 5-8 Sean Backman of Yale drop gloves (I always liked midget wrestling); why isn't there at least one fight per game in the Clarkson-St. Lawrence and RPI-Union series? These guys are just being too sweet to each other. Dr. Phil's shows have more confrontation than this sissy league. The ECACHL motto should be like a top-40 radio show - The Hits Just Keep on Comin'.
Hey, how about old Timmy Gerrish pulling the plug at Union? The only thing Garish about him was his record. I know it's politically incorrect, but this is one time Title IX just ain't working. At a small school like The Little U, with limited athletic budgets, the money being wasted on the women's hockey program could be channelled for better use (like John Audinoleone's annual golf...oops, recruiting...trips to Florida). And you can't tell me all the women on Union's hockey team would have gone somewhere else if they didn't have the opportunity to play hockey. Think any of them will bail now that Gerrish is leaving. Doubt it!
How cold is it? The dog's fleas are playing shinny in his water dish. Catch you later

Wednesday, January 24, 2007


This ain't your mamas NASCAR. Mother-in-Law? Who gives a rats ass? Ooops, didn't mean to talk about the menu at the chamnpionship awards dinner. I love the Daytona 500, cause it means that Fat Tuesday, and then spring, can't be far away.

If I had killed you...Is that the flip side of "How can I tell you goodbye if you don't take your tongue outa my mouth?"


Redneck country

Hey, y'all
You know what this blog needs? More racin'! The Daytona 500 is right around the corner, and we haven't even mentioned what's going on in NASCAR, like them tweaking the point system for the champeenship or the fact that Junior is feuding with his stepmother. so let me pop open a 40 of Bud, and hit the trail.
I like the idea of adding more drivers to the Chase. It ain't a chase if'n you don't have Junior and Pretty Boy Gordon one year, and Doughboy Stewart the next. Sheeit, you can't have a real champion if you don't let the real contenders compete.
Junior has about had it with Theresa. This is starting to sound like a soap opera, right to the point where Junior said last week, "I've got a real mother." Whoa, boy. the hand of ole' Dale is going to come out of nowhere and slap you upside the head. Watch for Junior to pull the plug and jump to Richard Childress Racing.
We've got to get to North Carolina or Tennessee sometime this summer and catch the "I Know We're Divorced, But I Still Love Her Like a Sister 500."
Whew, that's a load off my mind. Hey, putz, did you see where Inside College Hockey has one of Nate's cementheads listed as a Hidden Hobey? Don't see Captain Kirk's name on that list. He must have put the phaser shields up.
If I had killed you when I wanted to, I'd be out by now.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Tuna in 'Toga

Yup, no doubt that Parcells will be in Saratoga a lot this summer. I don't hink we could get him to The Nail, but might be able to convince him to have a couple of BlackSmiths at the Parting Glass or One Caroline.
When Ol Beady Eyes has another ho hum season he will be out, but don't expect Tuna to be in. I'm tinking they go for a big-name coach with a few miles left, say Holmgren or Bill Cower.


Hey, Putz
It's only Tuesday and I'm already sick and tired of hearing the "two black coaches at the Super Bowl" story. It would be a story if they were coaching in the Stanley Cup finals, but let's be serious. If the NFL wasn't run by good, ole boys like Jerry Jones, black coaches wouldn't be an issue. Hey, while we're on the subject, are there any black players in the ECACHL? Why isn't Al Sharpton breathing down Hagwell's neck.
Say what you want, but The Tuna just got fed up with dealing with TO and threw in the towel. I see where he's probably going to spend the summer in Saratoga, watching the nags run. Have to get him to The Nail for a couple of pops.
Don't count the Tuna out. With Tom Coughin' hanging by a thread, the Tuna could be heading back to the Big Apple after a one-year sabbatical and a little R&R.
Have you been into the Kool Aid at the RPI concession stand, because you're preaching the gospel according to Opie. Give him two years to bring in his own kids, and he'll still be in the bottom half of the league. And don't talk bad about Nate the Skate. His methods may be a little shady, but they're working, and we all know if there's one thing The Little U likes, it's a winner. Can't wait to see who Don Audinoleone brings in at QB and tailback. Luther, Dauber and the rest of that motley crew had better be beating the bushes.
Whew, need a break after that one. Is that the beer wench riding by?

Monday, January 22, 2007


Hey Sparky:
Did you remember your crampons when you went out to play golf? Did you wonder why there was nobody in front of you to bitch at for playing too slowly?

RPI played well over the weekend, but scoring goals is a little foreign to them right now. Seth is going to get some kids who can play into school over the next few years. The thing that will be different than his counterpart across the river is that he will keep more than he loses to suspensions, grades, the industrial leagues in northern Ontario and other indiscretions.

Hey, speaking of industrial leagues; did you see the uniforms the Clarkson Hockey Team was wearing this weekend? They look like something that one of the teams up in Kirkland Lake or 100 Mile House discarded because they wouldn't be seen dead in them.That team can play, but the crap they wear is awful.

Super Bowl predictions? we don't do that kinda crap here. Who cares?! Okay, here's one for ya; this Super Bowl will be won by a team with a black head coach for the first time in history. I'd say African American Coach, but who knows, some guy in the past may have been Egyptian or Tunisian or South African.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Spare me

Hey, putz
I see some things never change. I spent a couple of quiet days in the cave and when I get out, what do I find? You're still posting mindless drivel.
How about something meaningful, like your predictions for the Super Bowl? I'm starting to envy Art Buchwald.
See Jake Luthi is still the leading scorer for the Engineers. Cripes. That team couldn't score in a whorehouse with a fistful of fifties. Someone has to light a fire under the admissions department over there and let Seth (what kind of name is that for a hockey coach?) bring in some players.
I'm heading out to play a quick nine. Should get some good roll today.

Thursday, January 18, 2007


Gotta love Art Buchwald recording his own obituary and then running it today on the NY Times website.
"Hello, I'm Art Buchwald and I just died."

Kim asked me if I wanted to make a video tonight. I had a completely different idea about what kind of video to make. She wanted me to record my obit, just in case I die soon. You know, she likes me to be prepared for stuff; thoughtful wife that she is. So I did a recap of all the significant stuff I've done in my life. It took less time than the sex video I had in mind would've taken. Actually I could have recorded both in the break between Grey's Anatomy and ER. Did both without any help too.


Ray Shine

Did you get a chance to see Ray Ray Freeman against Zaveeur tonight? He scored 22 and pulled down 13 rebounds. The kid has passed both Camby and Dr. J on the career scoring and rebounding list at UMass. Maybe the Minutemen icers could use him in front on the power play. Oops, forgot that you were back in the cave tonight. No cable and no beer. Urp! Sucks to be you.

Speaking of Hockey East, have you looked at the bottom four teams in that league? For all the talk of how far the ECAC has slipped in the past 5-6 years, their bottom four of UMass, Northeastern, Merrimack and Lowell is awful. The top four, plus Vermont, is as strong as any league, but it is also at the expense of some real bad teams. There has to be a realignment of the hockey leagues in the East. Let's form a new one. We'll serve beer at the games; including to the players and officials and make the goals 5 feet by 10 feet. That way we can have point spreads and make lots of money.

Gotta go. Oh Beer Babe.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


Okay Sparky. Read some of "Pointless Drvel on the links section. This guy could work with us.

Condo talk

Hey Sparky, one of your voices just called and said that 2c is rented. I think it's occupied by one of those alternative personalities of yours.

It does suck in the great northeast this time of year. I need to see if I can get a job in Key West. You forgot to mention baseball. We do have the endless countdown to when pitchers and catchers report that you hear some of the sportscasters spurt off about now and then. That should keep you going.

You got beer in that cave?

Stop the crap

Hey, blogmeister
What's with the posting other people's drivel on the blog? If I wanted to read that crap, I'm blog surf, like you obviously do. No wonder you never go anywhere in life. You don't have any original ideas. You think it's cute to be a peeping Tom. I hope those clowns in 2A and 2B BLOW EACH OTHER'S BRAINS OUT. For God's sake, get a life, people. Better yet, start collecting cans and save enough money so you can buy a house and have your own damn washer and dryer. JUST STOP YOUR BITCHIN'! It's no wonder I like it in the cave. It's so nice and quiet.
Hate this time of year. Football sucks (year, let's just anaylze that Colts-Pats rematch ad nauseum), hockey doesn't matter, no baseball, too damn cold to golf. And the reason we stay in the Northeast is?????
I'm going to rent 2C and start stirring the pot.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Justifiable homicide?

I got this off of some random blog. This is pretty funny. Yeah, I know; I need a hobby, or a blowup doll.

The Letter
Dear New Neighbors of 2B,Let me begin by saying "welcome to the building". It really is great having you here at FH. Now that the formalities are out of the way...let's get down to business. While as much as I appreciate the gesture of removing my clothes from the dryer, and it was ever so kind of you to take it a step further and actually FOLD my clothes...I must say please don't ever do it again. I know how it is on that Lazy Saturday/Sunday morning, when you have gotten up, did some cleaning around the house, then collected all of the dirty clothes you have and dragged them all the way to the laundry room only to find that some lazy resident has either left their clothes in the dryer and they are all hard and wrinkled now (probably bc they never used fabric softener) OR you open the washer to find that clothes have been in there overnight and have that mildewy smell. Trust me I know all too well how that feels. That's why I pay special attention to make sure that I precisely time my wash and dry cycles so that I never put you in this type of dilemma. So therefore it confuses me why you would stop the dryer MID-CYCLE..proceed to fold the clothes, very neatly I might add, and gently sit them aside. All that I can conclude from this is that you thought you were pulling the wool over my eyes. Well, let it be known that 2A has a big issue with 1) someone prematurely stopping her permanent press cycle and 2) someone who she has never even seen touching her unmentionables, I mean let's get real folded by panties dude. Yes folded! I guess that was all apart of the deception...bc the darn clothes were still damp, how crafty you are 2B!! Surely you felt that they were wet as you folded, one can only assume. So now not only must I rewash these clothes, I mean for all I know you might have dropped them on the floor and contaminated them while folding (OCD, i know i know), but I also have to fricking wait for YOUR clothes to finish!! So, In an effort to make this time here at FH a pleasant one for you, I suggest that you don't mess with my clothes again :-)Lovingly Yours,2A

Whatsamata U

Whoa, talk about opening a can of worms; this editorial does that and more. Stipends for Division I athletes? Not a good idea. How about limiting coaches salaries and making kids prove they can talk and walk at the same time before you let them into some of these schools?

Yeah, the money is big in big-time college sports and that is the problem. Quit paying coaches millions of dollars a year to lie and cheat and maybe this problem would find its own solution. Some of these coaches should be in jail and some of these players;...... should be in jail.

If the school presidents and the boards of trustees had some integrity, and took control of the programs we would not have as many problems. Of course if that happened the big-time donors and gamblers would have them killed or fired; or both. Click below and read more.


Ripp Off

Come on Sparky; you gotta take a day-old story from the guys at
Those boys at Wisconsin shoulda stuck to drinking Stout, huh.

Give the young turks from Siena a break, they don't know any better. Hey, their coach, and his wife, can't keep their mouths shut. He's been thrown outa two of his first 40 games as coach. His freakin' wife leads the nation in the categtory of spouses being thrown out of games, so what do you expect?

Who's running this zoo?

Hey, putz:
Think Don Audinoleone has problems at The Little U because he hasn't found a quarterback yet? Look at this poor sap at one of those "prestigious" Wisconsin state schools.

Todd Strop has submitted his letter of resignation as head football coach at UW-Stout. The resignation, announced Jan. 11, comes four weeks after a Stout senior football player was arrested in an operation in which police seized cocaine, marijuana and more than $6,000. Luke Steffen, a linebacker, led the Blue Devils (3-7) this past season with 101 tackles and had a pair of interceptions, returning one for a touchdown. Steffen was due in court Jan. 16.
Another defendant, UW-Stout football player Nicholas OrRico, also faces a pair of cocaine and marijuana charges and police said they also found steroids at his house. He’s due in court Jan. 22.

How's that for institutional control? How did these cementheads stay under Union's radar?

Hey, nice job by the numbnuts at Siena to spout off about how good they are, and then let Marist SHOOT 100 PERCENT from the floor in overtime. Probably couldn't play defense because they were too tired from running their mouths (which is also your favorite form of exercise.) Maybe Fran the Man should invest in some muzzles.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Orange U Excited?

I know another college hockey post will just about send Anna over the edge but, what the hell.
You're an Alumn, have you heard anything about 'cuse moving hockey to varsity status? Sounds like more wishful thinking by college hockey people. They have to get their football team back to Division I before they start talking about starting men's and women's hockey programs. Besides, why would they want one more sports program that sucks? The only program that's any good is Men's Hoop. They don't do the other sports right, so why would anyone think that they would put the resources needed to win into hockey?


Sunday, January 14, 2007

Missing Poster

Why has Anna Phylactic-Shock stopped posting? We need a little sanity in this space. Even JZ would be a welcome addition. Ooops, gotta go; now I've gone over the edge.

Goon-ess Me

I like the penalty minutes watch most years. I think it is a little tougher to rate players this year because many officials in the ECAC are calling the game differently than in the past and apparently than officials in the other leagues if you listen to coaches who have played in ECAC buildings this year. I recall one ECAC game where 14 of 22 penalties assessed were for hooking. The last time I saw that many hookers in one night I was working in the Combat Zone in Boston.
There needs to be a little more consistency in the way games are called around the country.

Hey, reel in those voices will ya? When your brain is busy they start calling me. I've got enough to deal with on my own without having to deal with your demons.

Check, please

Hey, putz:
It's time to start the Enforcer (read, Goon) of the Year watch. One of my favorite stats in college hockey is penalty minutes, but because no one wants to acknowledge the tough guys, so I'm picking up the torch (and will probably set myself on fire). We'll call it the Matt Nickerson Award, after the famous (?) Clarkson defenseman who rolled up 174 minutes three years ago, knocking Fridge out of the top spot.
Top contenders right now are Phil Paquet of Clarkson (84 minutes) and Jean-Francois Boucher of Yale (78). Nickerson appears safe, but these two could easily hit the century mark.
Interesting to note these two are also the national leaders. Are the ECAC refs calling the game a little differently than the rest of the world?
In the immortal words of Styx, I've got too much time on my hands.
Glad to see Opie's scholarship guys finally beat the non-scholarship cementheads. Should be cause for celebration in the faculty lounges at dear, old RPI.
Got to run. Someone's calling me (probably the voices in my head again).

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Onions not Oranges

So Sparky, after that big 5-0 asskicking that Onion delivered the Engineers last night, the Dutchpeople fell on their faces tonight and lost to "...the worst team in the nation over the last 13 games." Guess who's back in the basement of the ECAC now? That 10-10-2 overal record doesn't mean much in the face of a 3-7 ECAC mark.

Good thing the ECAC lets all 12 teams into the playoffs eh, or the Capital District college hockey fans would be playing golf early this year.


JZ said he saw two dufusses in a cart playing golf at Mohawk River Club this morning. It was about 38 degrees and raining. When they got to the back nine that cart probably ended up submerged on one of those ponds that pass as fairways. The good thing is that those two won't be producing anymore offspring.

This ain't Denver

Hey, putz
After doing a little research this morning, I have to back off and finally give RPI hockey coach Opie Appert his due. He's finally done it. He's made RPI THE WORST TEAM IN AMERICA.
Check out these stats:
RPI...1-9-3 last 13, outscored 24-4 in last five.
Merrimack...2-10-1 last 13, outscored 18-6 last five
AIC (yes, the one in Springfield. I didn't even know they were Division I)...3-10 last 13, have outscored opponents 17-15 in last five.
Bowling Green...2-11 last 13, outscored 17-10 in last five.
Wayne State (I didn't know The Duke had a college named after him!)...3-10 last 13, outscored 20-18 last five.
Opie better click those red heels together and head back to Denver. Hey, Ope, this is what happens when your senior student/athletes have things on their minds other than hockey, which can happen at these damn, fancified Eastern schools.
THEY RAN FRIDGE OUT OF TOWN FOR THIS? In the immortal words of Jerry Lee Lewis, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE.
Hell, if RPI is going to be this bad, they might as well eliminate the scholarships and put the money into research grants or something.
Beers ahoy


I love clicking on "next blog." I can only do two or three though before I get bored or blow a gasket. I mean, we're nuts and really waste what little brain power we may have left on this blog shit, but some of the folks blogging around really scare me. Take a trip in "Next Blog Land." It is really Rod Serling-esque.


This is beautiful Sparky. The woman described below probably constantly askes her friends, "why can't I find the right guy?" If you meet her, don't tell her. Let her go on exisiting in her weird little world.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Take some Valium

Whoa, kimo sabe
Nice little rant you want on there about Dubya. Don't blame me. I didn't vote for Little Hitler. How are all those Bible-trumpin', abortion-opposin' conservatives feeling now? Hey, wait. That's probably you.
Whose idea was it to bring in David Beckham to save American soccer? Hell, maybe it doesn't want to be saved. Just because more kids play soccer than any other spot doesn't mean it will survive on the professional level. If that's the case, masturbation would be right up there with NASCAR!
The only good thing the Bend-man is bringing with him is Posh Spice. Wonder if she needs a poolboy?
I'm telling you, you're way off base on Tommy Coffin and the Giants. This is going to be one desperate man, and with a rookie GM, he's going to have the whip out. He's going to prove he's still a good coach (was he ever a good coach?) if it kills someone. And you had better get used to Eli-May Clampett at QB, because they've got too damned much invested in him.
Hey, I'm boycotting Pretty Boy Wyland's show. Haven't listened to him since they took the I-Man off the air. When you have XM radio, who needs Wyland, Schott, Big Game and a thousand nobodies?
Go Dutchmen!

Thursday, January 11, 2007


Click on the link below. do you think we've had enough now? this is just how much it has cost in dollars. Don't forget the lives lost. If this dipshit in the White House decides to go into Iran or Syria people in this country might finally say, GAME. Let's trow da bum outa office and bring home the troops. The only problem is that the whole freakin' Middle East would probably end up fighting over Iraq. How did we let this nimrod get us into this. Why didn't any of the clowns we sent to Congress take their dicks, or dickettes, out of their hands long enough to figure out what a lot of us schmucks in the hinterlands believed then, that this was going to be one big cluster fuck and then it was going to blow up in our faces. Now what do we do?

Back to senseless shit! Let's set Coughlin's pants on fire.

Blanket Party

I don't agree. Ol Beady Eyes can't muzzle Shockey or Burress. If he tries they will pull the waist band of his boxers up over his ears so all you see is the top of his brush cut.

He has no control over this team, no idea about what to do with that three-toed sloth at QB and no idea how to hire coaches that can run their own units. You're right about one thing, this guy has one more year, but that is at least 11 months too long. Hell, this team would be better off with The Cough playing QB and Elly coaching. Hey there's a half-baked idea with some legs for ya.

Step right up

What the hell happened to the weather? It's getting darn cold in the cave.
Hey, if I'm in charge at the University at Albany, I'm going to gear up the advance sale of tickets for Giants training camp. That is going to be one big circus. Tommy Coffin has a year to prove he can still coach (don't believe the contract. He's got ONE YEAR) and he's not going to take any crap from Shock-Me, Plexiglass or anyone else. Anyone on the record as saying the Giants were outcoached is going to start the year in the doghouse, and it's only going to get worse. What do the Giants and the H.M.S. Bounty have in common? That's right, dogbreath. There's bound to be a mutiny.
Excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable, like July or August.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Saddled with The Cough

Hey Sparky;
Well, they did it. The Jints decided to keep Ol Beady Eyes on as coach for at least two more seasons. How'd you like to be the guy they hire as GM? His first two years will be spent trying to clean up the mess Ernie Acorsi left. He hired Coughlin and also traded away the farm (three all-pros) to get a QB slower than any of his offensive linemen and about as consistant as my convictions. Oh wait, I have no convictions.

On second thought, the way Big Blew selects players, those draft choices they gave San Diego would likely have brought more players like Will Demps and Tim Carter. It is going to be tough to be a Jints fan for the next few years.

Monday, January 8, 2007


Hey Sparky:
Here's an intelligent and insightful post-game interview with Ol' Beady Eyes.


Big Blew

Eli? Most of the time he makes Scott Brunner look good. Manning is good for one or two drives a game. Unfortuantely it comes after the defense has played 90% of the game because Eli is napping most of the first 3/4 of the game. Give the fat guy a shot next summer.

Everyone is blaming Ol Beady Eyes and he should shoulder a lot of the blame. This coaching staff can't get outa its own way. Burress makes two great grabs, on lousy throws, on the first drive and Elly doesn't even look at #17 for the next 20 minutes.

Maybe the guy that should get most of the heat is Ernie Acorsi. He is the one who gave us Coughlin, Manning and don't forget that secondary that never saw a running back it couldn't tackle. First hire a general manager that can see when he's about to be snookered. The Manning family sold Ernie a bill of goods on Elly and will be counting their money long after the Giants have finally realized that they made a mistake.

The big eunuch is finally gone. Maybe the desert sun will help his complexion; and his disposition. Hey, he might even remember how to pitch.

Another day in paradise

Hey, knuckledragger:
How about them Giants!! They give poor devils like you false hope by scoring late, and then let the Eagles slice right through that porous defense for the game-winning field goal. How can you Giants fans get through a weekend? It's like picking a bullet to the head over sitting in a running car in the garage. One may be quicker than the other, but either way, you're dead when it's done.
And I don't get why everyone wants Tom Chokin' Not Coughlin out the door. Hell, make the old fool stick around as his punishment! Make him stand on the sidelines when Peyton Lite hasn't got Kon-Tiki to bail him out anymore. Without Tiki The Barber, Shakey and Plexiglass are going to demand the ball even more.
San Diego ain't lookin' so bad now, it is, Eli.
Let's start the Don't Fire Coughlin push. Make him stay and suffer with this group of misfits.
Not to get off the subject, but how in THE HELL does the Big Unit get a two-year deal out of Arizona. Hell, he may not last two games!!
Another day older, and still no wiser.

Sunday, January 7, 2007

Happy Birthday Sparky

Jints redux

Hey Sparky:
It's all too familiar for Jints fans. Blown chance by the offense and missed tackles by the defense takes what coulda been a a 17 or 20 to 7 lead and makes it into a 17-10 deficit at the half.

The O-line has 4 penalties in two possessions and Eli continues to ignore open receivers and throw at guys who are covered. Burress makes two great catches on bad throws on the first possession and then Eli forgets he's on the field the rest of the half.

Ol Beady Eyes has that bewildered look on his face again and it's left to Shockey and Tiki to try to provide some leadership. Put the fat guy in at QB the second half, please. Why can't any of these announcers or any of the Jints coaches or administrators admit that Coughlin and Manning were mistakes? I don't get it.


Friday, January 5, 2007


The Lampley episode is a bit strange, but that's life in the big city. Maybe The Donald will give Ms. Calif. another chance.

There's still hope

Stu, my man
Did you see where Jim Lampley was arrested on domestic violence charges? Seems the 57-year-old letch, who even has some miles on you, was knocking around his 28-year-old girlfriend, who just happens to be a former Miss California. From what I read, The Lamp Man was juiced up on alcohol and dope when they got into an argument and he let loose. Whiskey and wacky tabacky? Hey, Lamp Man, stop listening to Hotel California and step into the 21st century. Hell, if I'm dating a 28-year-old former beauty queen, she can put a dog collar on me! And one of Lamp Man's three ex-wives said that he's such a sweetheart, she can't imagine him ever doing something like that. Gag me!
Maybe you can start picking up Lamp Man's leftovers, putz.

Thursday, January 4, 2007

Feelin' Sumthin

You always seem to be feelin' something. Keep your hands outa your pockets and your feeble little brain focused on what's important; Karoke night at The Nail.

Opie isn't going anywhere. He will get a chance to grow up at 'Laer. Give him a couple of recruiting classes then you can rip him or the RPI Admin for not being competitive. They should be in the top five of the league 8 outa 10 years, but the school hasn't cared enough in the past 15 years, until now. Let's see if they give the new guy the tools to compete, then if they don't you can heave pineapples at them. He does need to beat Union soon. Going 4-0-2 ( he is 0-1-1) against a little regional school with no scholarships is hideous. That can't continue.
By the way, how many "student-athletes" have to leave the Union hockey program for various, some undisclosed, reasons before the ECACHL or someone says something.

Speaking of the ECACHL; how about that academic powerhouse - Quinnipiac - they added last year. They are already in the top three in the league and will likely have a 3-5 run at the top before the Ivies get tired of losing to them and call "game".


Media Blunders

This is pretty funny.

In Medias Res
Observations about Journalism and other interests from a retired Albany, NY Television News Anchor
Wednesday, January 3, 2007

The Governor's Kotex
"Do the Governor's kotex reach as far as the Assembly?""The dog called police on the taxi radio.""Good Evening, I'm Ernie Tetrault.""Brinkworth pisses across ice to Knightly who shits! And the fuck is cleared into the corner."I said all those things on-air. Every broadcaster has a collection of personal bloopers, I suppose. Some seem funny now but they were nightmarish utterances at the time they were made. And, they all had to be followed by something. You can't just stop. You can't take it back. So tell me, if you begin a newscast by getting your own name wrong, where do you go from there?'Kotex', by the way, was a mangled attempt at 'exit poll coattails'. It was a stupid question anyway. It wasn't scripted. It was my stupid question. I own it. So too, I also own every idiotic observation made on this blog. It seems to me that if a person believes they have something worth saying in public then they owe the public their own identity.I would never be and have never been an anonymous critic.
Posted by Ed Dague at 11:11:00 AM

Feelin' ornery

Yo, Stu
Hey, moron. Where'd you go? The wife yanking on the leash a little too tight?
Nice idea to pull the I-Man to give Pretty Boy Wyland another hour. For years, I've listened to the I-Man for political insight, satire and good, old vile humor. Now, I get another hour of noise. What genius thought that was a good idea? What the hell is wrong with local radio and television anyway? Pretty Boy with another hour? Monotone Moy doing hockey play-by-play? Does anyone in this market have a clue?
I don't know about you, but I'm rooting like hell for Florida to beat Ohio State and leave Boise State, my new favorite team, as the only unbeaten and let the BCS cronies chew on that one for a while. Can't wait to see my man Louis-The-Sooner-Grad and gloat about his team getting beat by a bunch of potato farmers playing playground ball.
And don't you just love to see the Irish get their ass kicked by a bunch of bandits. You know why JaMarcus Russell is going to turn pro? It's better than flunking out of school!
You know you're a redneck when you go to a stock car race and don't need a program. Hey, wait. I CAN DO THAT!!!
Got to go. The meds are wearing off.

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

They ran Fridge out of town for this?

Yo, Stu:
I was going to keep my mouth shut for a while, but after reading Seth Appert's quotes today, I reached my limit.
Twice, he referred to RPI hockey players as student/athletes! Is that the new directive from Queen Shirley? Yo, Mr. Roboto, these are HOCKEY PLAYERS. If they wanted to be student/athletes, they would have gone to Williams or Middlebury. Did you forget that they're getting a free education because of their ability to play hockey, supposedly at a high level?
This guy is really getting on my nerves. RPI ran Dan Fridgen out of town because he wasn't winning enough games, and wasn't keeping RPI in the national mix. So what has Opie Appert done? Taken a veteran team to a 5-7-6 record and the only thing they're leading the nation in is short-handed goals against! Goaltending was supposed to be the strength of this team, they bring in a coach with a goaltending background, and Lange and Alford suddenly can't stop a beachball. I don't get it.
And don't give me any crap about, Let's wait and see what Appert can do with his own recruits. Unless the admissions department is going to close its eyes, not much is going to change. Can't believe they dumped Fridge for this guy.
Hey, putz. I see you picked up a D(esignated)H(eckler). As least someone is reading your drivel.
Got to find my Goody's Headache Powder. Opie is giving me a pain.

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Hair Ball

Come on it's a joke, right? The Jints lose 6 outa 7, then manage to slip by the lowly Redskins and Head Coach Tom Coughlin gets nominated for NFL Coach of the week. That Cough-lin sound you hear is me hackin' up a big ole hair ball swallowed when I read that on Big Blew's web site.

Maybe he should be nominated for firing his offensive coordinator, but not for the job he himself has done at any point this season.I guess the NFC is as bad as everyone says if Ol Beedy Eyes gets a coach of the week nomination.


Spitzer has little time to act

This Joe Mahoney article in the NY Daily News does a good job of showing just how critical it is that Eliot Spitzer acts quickly to get the reform wagon moving lest the hacks in staid old and corrupt Albany make him irrelevant.

Monday, January 1, 2007


Okay, Albany Eye is really getting boring. Are there really people out there who want to spend hours searching for and talking about local TV people? Come on, these are local TV personalities in what, the #58 or 60 media market in the country. Get a life.

Find something important to talk about.

The Security detail outgoing Governor George Pataki squeezed out of Eliot Spitzer is a better topic. The Pataki's are the bad mistake that just keep on taking. George and his ditz of a wife have been sucking money out of supporters, hanger on, potential state contractors and others for the past eight year. We finally get them outa here, and he gets a State Police security detail to drive him around.What's with that?

Shouldn't those Troopers be in Albany showing Joe Bruno the door?